PROSES PEMAAFAN DIRI DALAM MENGHADAPI KRITIK DIRI INDIVIDU DENGAN PENGALAMAN HARSH PARENTING

Abstract

This study aims to identify and describe the process of self-forgiveness in coping with self-criticism among individuals with experiences of harsh parenting. A qualitative approach with a phenomenological method was employed to explore the participants’ subjective experiences. Data were collected through in-depth interviews using open-ended questions, supported by observations during the interview process. Participants were selected using purposive sampling, consisting of three adults who had experienced harsh parenting and exhibited patterns of selfcriticism. The findings indicate that harsh parenting—characterized by verbal and physical abuse, lack of affection, and insufficient emotional validation—left deep psychological wounds since childhood. These wounds contributed to the formation of persistent self-critical patterns, in which individuals often became trapped in feelings of guilt, self-rejection, and even self-punishment. Over time, however, participants realized that maintaining self-criticism only worsened their psychological condition, leading to the need to reconcile with past experiences. The process of self-forgiveness identified in this study consisted of four phases: uncovering, decision, work, and deepening. These stages suggest that selfforgiveness does not occur instantly but requires time, awareness, and effort to cultivate self-compassion. In this context, self-forgiveness is not a moral leniency toward mistakes, but rather a psychological strategy for alleviating inner tension caused by persistent self-criticism. This study recommends that psychologists and counselors provide a safe, non-judgmental space where individuals with experiences of harsh parenting can explore core emotions such as anger, disappointment, shame, and guilt. Furthermore, longitudinal research is needed to better understand the long-term development of self-forgiveness.